


All I Am Is What I Say

by sapphicqueens



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dark Emma, Dark One Emma, Dark One's Dagger, F/F, Rough Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 21:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4035010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicqueens/pseuds/sapphicqueens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sheets were cold as liquid nitrogen against naked skin. Her nightgown burned, itched, made her sweat as she fought the dreams interrupting her sleep. Several nights in a row had she woken with a fever, hands desperately searching for something, someone, in the dark. That is when she chose to give up, to caress the slithering dagger with unwhispered wishes ghosting over trembling lips.</p>
<p>'You worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed.'" </p>
<p>Regina's longing calls Emma louder than words. Set after 4B finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Am Is What I Say

The dagger tempted with its shining metal, catching the light coming from the moon through the windows.

_Just a few words, and you'd be here._

Stroking the blade, light finger tips dancing upon the named carved on the beautiful weapon. Sharp enough to tear through flesh and bone.

_No. I can't do that to her, I won't force her to come to me._

Regina sat by an open window in her bedroom, curled up on an armchair with a cup of long forgotten tea beside her. Every night for the past three weeks had the former queen ended up on that god forsaken piece of furniture with the Dark One's dagger in her hands, staring at it with longing and regret.

_I should have realised sooner, I should have known what was right in front of me all along._

A long time had passed since she last felt so twisted inside, like someone had refurnished her organs in her torso. Emma's last words repeated in her mind every silent minute.

_"You worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed."_

A soft whimper almost brushed past the brunette's lips as images of darkness feasting on Emma's light flashed behind closed lids. Green, digging deep, penetrating, before disappearing in oily black and the sound of metal against asphalt echoed louder than her own pulse.

Henry had also escaped into himself. He was broken, felt abandoned by blonde hair and green eyes. Sometimes Regina would lash out, throwing vases and smash mirrors until she ended up with bleeding knuckles and an imploding heart in a heap on the floor. Tears burned and her unanswered questions left her throat sore before her son would and embrace her now fragile form. He never spoke, he just let Regina fall apart against him as he too would fight the sadness against her shoulder.

Robin did not understand the change in her behaviour, why she had chosen to not leave the manor. He called sometimes, spoke of Roland and the progress of Zelena's baby. Their baby. As if she would listen with great interest. She had started to ignore the calls. He never asked about Emma.

Sheets were cold as liquid nitrogen against naked skin. Her nightgown burned, itched, made her sweat as she fought the dreams interrupting her sleep. Several nights in a row had she woken with a fever, hands desperately searching for something, someone, in the dark. That is when she chose to give up, to caress the slithering dagger with unwhispered wishes ghosting over trembling lips.

_"You worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed."_

"I hate you, Miss Swan."

Regina still wondered what the saviour had done to her, how she had managed to creep into her almost black heart with demands of space, and had stayed there. Taking root only to grow unnoticed while Regina had tried to find her happy ending. While Emma had tried to find her happy ending.

"Is that how you welcome me after all this time?"

A voice tore through the loud silence of the night and ripped through Regina's defences. Brown eyes shot open, meeting green ones that glittered with devious darkness. She looked different, smelled different.

"Em-ma?" Regina's own voice was unsteady, shaking breathlessly as her hand involuntarily reached for the saviour, begging strong arms to pick her up and tell her this was all a dream. That she could wake up now and face the day with Henry's cheerful smile and Emma's cocky smirks.

"Whom else would show up in the dead of night, in your bedroom?" Emma walked around in her room, observing the little things that should give away signs of someone living in there. "Oh I forgot that man you keep on insisting is your _True Love_? How is he? Still as honourable?"

"What are you doing here?" Regina managed to croak. Emma turned back to her, a smile gracing her lips but never allowing it to reach her eyes.

"You called me here."

"No, I didn't."

"Well, not out loud."

The former queen could not deny that. However, she had called every night for the blonde. Begging her quietly to show herself.

"Why now?"

"Because your pathetic whining became too much."

Regina knew she was pathetic.

"I miss you."

"Is that why you said you hate me?"

"I love you."

Words had never felt so sweet and soft like honey on her tongue before.

"No you don't."

"Why did you sacrifice yourself for me?" Regina was desperate, searching for something human in the Dark One's piercing stare, searching for something Emma.

"How is Henry?"

"Emma."

"Regina."

"Answer my question."

"Because I love you, too." There it was, there she was.

"I am not happy."

"Then my sacrifice was in vain." _No, it wasn't. You made me realize just how happy I was, how happy I could become with you._

"That's why we need to fix this." Regina stood up, finally finding the strength to face Emma in the same level. Even though Emma was consumed by so much darkness, she was still her equal, never beneath, never above.

Emma let out a mirthless chuckle, white teeth flashing in the darkness similar to the light reflecting on the dagger.

"There is only one way to fix this, and you know how."

"I am not letting anyone put that dagger in you." Regina finally found her voice. The blonde's words upset her, stirring the anger Regina had tried to bury.

"You can't honestly believe something as naive and stupid as _Twu Wuv_ can fix this."

"It has saved your naive and stupid parents I don't know how many times."

"Okay then, I will go and find that boyfriend of mine," Emma spat, rage and something that could almost be taken for sorrow, flickered in her eyes, "let's see if his precious lips can fix this mess you put me in, Regina."

Something snapped in the mayor. She wanted to scream at the blonde, to tell her to shut up and not accuse her of such things but the truth was, it was her fault. She had put Emma in this position. Guilt washed over her and she slumped down, legs buckled under her and her knees met the soft carpet.

"I like you on your knees, Your Majesty." The Dark One's voice was dripping of sarcasm. Hatred. Disgust.

"Let me take your place." Mumbling words had never been louder.

"Ha! You honestly think it's that easy? And do you really think I would let go of this much power? Of this much potential? I'm starting to see how Rumble could betray his son."

"Don't say that!" Regina was pleading, sobs filled the rooms as she felt tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm joking. I would never do that to Henry."

Regina knew she was telling the truth. Even though all that darkness was fighting the light in her body, her love for Henry would never really fade away. It would be the only thing that kept her down on her feet.

The silence that erupted between them was thick of words that wanted to be spoken, should be spoken, but neither would let them graze lips. Green eyes studied Regina's face, looking down at her but not on her. Even though Emma fed on the guilt radiating off the once so regal queen, her heart fought the Dark One's powers that wanted to corrupt it with hatred toward the woman. The love she felt for Regina and their son was the only thing the darkness could not take.

"Your handless wonder is not the only one's love that might save you," Regina mumbled, the words coming out as pleas. Emma held her gaze, knowing exactly what Regina meant.

Anger rushed through the blonde. She was amazed by the broken woman, wondering how such an elegant and powerful monarch could let herself be this weak. So exposed.

"For fuck's sake Regina, get up," Emma said and wrapped her fingers around the other woman's throat, forcing her to her feet as a broken whimper slipped past Regina's lips.

"Kiss me," The brunette whispered, desperate to try anything to get through the hard shell Emma had built around herself.

Emma's hand squeezed her windpipe as more anger flashed in those green orbs. She was so close. Small huffs of breath caressed the blonde's lips, only a mere inch from a soft kiss that would lack any kind of affection at all.

"I love you so much," Emma coaxed out, her true self breaking free from the dark grasp on her soul and she closed the small space between them.

The kiss was gentle at first. More like stroking rose petals instead of picking flowers and it was nothing Emma had ever wanted their first kiss to be like. Not under these circumstances. Nevertheless, she deepened it, stroking the mayor's lower lip with her tongue and as soon Regina parted her lips, the kiss became heated. Violent, almost.

Teeth clashed, lips were caught between pearly whites and blood was drawn as skin was pierced. Moaning needy, the former queen tangled her fingers with blond hair, pulling her closer. Emma's hand, once clenching a throat, had made its way to the back of her neck and the other to the small of Regina's back, embracing her quivering form possessively.

Regina had not had time to think about Emma's lips after she realised her feelings for the saviour were more than just a friendly bond. Now she recognised the longing that had lingered at the back of her head, craving Emma. However, the kiss did not reveal any signs of love. It was a selfish touch of skin on skin. Regina only wanted Emma and Emma only wanted to feel Regina's regret in an anguish touch.

No whooshing sound was heard, no colourful light left their moist lips as if a curse would be broken. Only wet sounds of a kiss and whimpers were buried in the deafening silence that was Storybrooke.

"Let me help you," Regina whispered as the kiss calmed down. They rested on each other's forehead while breaths tangled with warm air, "we can fix this. We always do."  
Emma remained silent and still, only reaching forward to pull at Regina's lower lip with her teeth.

"Emma," the Mayor pleaded with a sound that either urged Emma to continue assaulting her mouth or to stop and listen. Emma opted for the first one and deepened the kiss once again, sucking on the lip that had been bitten.

Even though Regina wanted Emma to take a step back and participate in the conversation Regina had planned for nearly three weeks, she could not resist the Savior's inviting scent, her soft but demanding tongue that seemed to break whatever wall the Queen had built.

Cupping the blonde's cheeks, she pressed her body against Emma's harder, wanting to feel Emma, to trace her skin as she had traced her name on the dagger just moments before. Heat burst to flame in her limbs, filling her every vein and nerve with a foggy desire, lips tasting as rich as wine while they slid over tongue and teeth.

When Emma's mouth moved over her jaw and down to her neck, nipping on the thin skin over her pulse, Regina thought she would fall to her knees again. The once so powerful and fearsome Queen had turned into a knee weak mess, craving Emma as an addict craved their acid.

"Let me have you," Emma's low voice sent shivers down the brunette's spine and cold fingers found their way underneath silk, nails sending icy fire over skin as they traced to Regina's abdomen. More fingers grasped brown locks and grabbed them in a fist, pulling the Mayor's head back to expose a neck pale white in the moonlight, "let me ravish you. Forget about me. Let me make you forget about everything."

Teeth into her neck and started leaving red angry crescents down her throat to mark collarbones, "mine..." a possessive word from the now very possessive Dark One. Regina could make out dark golden flakes in the blonde's otherwise forest green eyes and Regina knew that Emma had disappeared, left her and returned into the void somewhere in the body.

A choked out "no," left the brunette's mouth. She tried to regain enough strength to separate her body from the Dark One's firm grip, "this is not how..." and with all the force her exhausted and powerless body could muster, she pushed the blonde away.

"Regina, you want this. I heard it," venomous honeyed tongue that could only belong to darkness spoke.

"I want this with Emma, when her heart is pure from you," she spat and stood up straight, shoulders pushed back and head held up high.

A low chuckled escaped the Dark One's lips, "silly you, I will always be a part of her. You made sure of that." The grin that followed erased any trace of the Saviour that could have been found on the beautiful face.

And Regina felt her knees give up.

Guilt chewed on her insides, clawing and biting at all that was left of her and she could no longer breathe, no longer see or hear.

Tears were soaked up by a rough carpet instead of a warm shoulder and the last words of the Dark One echoed in her mind, the memory a piercing sound as the blonde's presence washed away in the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.


End file.
